"I hold it true,what'er befall;I feel it, when I sorrow most;'Tis better to have loved and lostThan never to have loved at all."

"Are you ready to cut off your head and place your foot on it? If so, come; Love awaits you! Love is not grown in a garden, nor sold in the marketplace; whether you are a king or a servant, the price is your head, and nothing less. Yes, the cost of the elixir of love is your head! Do you hesitate? 0 miser, It is cheap at that price!"

"Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so."

"Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within."

"All the pictures that hung in my memory before I knew you have faded and given place to our radient moments together. Now I cannot live apart from you...Your words are my food, your breath my wine. You are everything to me. "

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.I love thee to the depth and breadth and heightMy soul can reach, when feeling out of sightFor the ends of Being and ideal Grace.I love thee to the level of every day'sMost quiet need; by sun and candle-light.I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.I love thee with the passion put to useIn my old griefs, and with my childhood's faithI love thee with a love I seemed to loseWith my lost saints,--I love thee with the breath.Smiles, tears, of all my life!--and, if God choose,I shall but love thee better after death."

"Grow old along with me!The best is yet to be,The last of life, for which the first was made:Our times are in his hand Who saith,“A whole I planned, Youth shows but half;trust God: see all, nor be afraid!'' "

i love being in love. its such a wonderful feeling. as great as knowing that the object of my affection loves me back equally if not more then i am capable of. i love waking up every morning and knowing that i have someone to think about unshamefully. and that someone is thinking of me. knowing that im on someones mind is as satistfying. im content with how i am. and im alright with not changing.

so today should really test my self control. its just going to be me and cory all day... unless evan graces us with his presence. and usually whenever its just us 2, we fight nonstop. so it could either go really well or terribbly bad. we will see.

yesterday was horrible. me and my padre got into a little argument which led to him screaming at me and telling me to pack my bags and not come back. and i was so mad that i was like "my pleasure." two words that i will never get to take back. i really hope this doesnt turn out like the movies where people have this stupid hate for their fathers and then feel like crap when they die and they havn't made up. i really pray that he doesnt let it get that far. only time will tell.

"some people are just needed. whether its to keep sanity or to scare away normality."

my total secondary carbon footprint is 2.13 tonnes of CO2.

so im in the library. and today is my last day here for the week. and so im not doing any work. at all. its happy-making. i love free time. not really.

free time gives me too much of an oppurtunity to think about things that shouldn't have happened. things that are killing me from the inside out. its horrible. how some people just dont think about how their actions may effect someone else. it may hurt them. it may lead them to doing things that shouldn't be done.

so im sitting in the library. and im done my weekly packet. and bill bill is here now. its actually pretty fun. he is actually very entertaining. he makes me laugh. lol. and seth ale was here earlier. that was interesting too. like hoards of people just crowd around him. its hilarious. jamie as jst like "ill give myself the last 25 minutes of my day to reflect." bahaha. shes so funny. class is almost over. bill bill just decided he did enough for the day. it was cute. you had to have been here. 

im gonna go. 

(:

hes a rainbow haired, goat faced, friend network hating, flaming piece of CRAP.

just had to get that off my chest.

i LOVE marissa moreee.

asdfghjkl.

pointless blog.

evan's here. bored. gonna watch a moovieee. come visit us. (:

heh. sexualnt. [marissa]

i miss the still of your silence as you breath out and i breath in.

so im okay with where i am right now. i think im in a good place. a comfortable place. im not sure im ready to leave yet. to change any aspect of my daily life. its comforting, normality that is. i know that ince i get really used to how things are something is going to change. i cant just be average. thats not how it works. but thats okay. heres hoping the good things will remain same.



so i kind of want to improve my vocabulary. like idk, broaden my horizon. for lack of a better phrase, sound smarter. cause i realized last night that i talk like a dumb blond. and i dont think im dumb...? heh. whatever.



its raining. thats bad.

rickys party later.

should be fun.



for the moment, gonna try to chill with the bestie.

"I wanna be a professional basketball player. They get all the ladies." -Jarret.

going to marissas.

peace nukkah.

OBAMA!

"I was so happy this morning because i was with you the whole time. I really wanted to kiss you..."

"I made a song for you a long long time ago, and I never let you see it because i was way to scared to have to sing it to you."

"I loved holding your hands, and I loved just being with you."

so what's high school without some really cute boy always on your mind...

"...you make me ponder upon the endless sky..."

i am in a good place right now. it just needs a little TLC. 

so i think its cute when big boys "talk" to me. theyre so adorable. they make me smilee. and then when they get all possessive. its really cute. chubby kids are adorablee. their little rolls. and their huge toothy grins. i just want to dunk them in coffee. heh.

but seriously. hes such a cutie pants. and hes so sweet. i would LOVE to get to know him better. i think we would be cute. reall cute. and hes a baseball player. zomg. and hes nice. and just wow.

if youre not the one then why does your name resound in my head?

so sometimes i want him to forget about me. and move on. but i know that if i see him with anyone else that it wil literally kill me. i know. im so selfish. and greedy. and horrible. but i cant help it. ugh.

sometimes i wish life was fair.

"You sat me down beside myself. To show me all the reasons I was wrong for you. Was this for real? It's hard to tell' Cause it was such a beautiful mess we had got into. I'm gonna overcome this, paper hearts can't win this time. And all along I should have known this wasn't your dream, it was mine. I know you wanted me to give up this life to be everything I was back when you had the hands my heart was in. I was never good at goodbye..."

1. j' mappelle ashley.



2. i love my life.



3. he defines perfection.



4. my friends are better then yours.



5. i cant stand liars.



6. i still make [and keep] pinky promises.



7. i want someone to write me a song.



8. i hate when people try to tell me i cant.



9. my sister is my life.



10. il cut you in 984768936 pieces if you screw with her.



11. i love goorrdd music.



12. evan is my best best b e s t friend.



13. hes a firefighter.



14. my ex boyfriend has a hate club.



15. i love my fatty cakes.



16. my town is too small for my huge dreams.



17. i dont like to sit at home.



18. alot of people dont like me.



19. im brutally honest.



20. i sometimes let people walk all over me.



21. im easily intimidated.



22. i dont fight.



23. at all.



24. im a foodie.



25. i cant stand president bush.



26. if i wasnt such a chicken id assasinate him myself.



27. i get attached too easily.



28. i love some peoples natural scent.



29. i like to cuddle.



30. its easy to gain my trust.



31. but it is also easy to lose it.



32. i have alot of respect for myself,



33. think about that before you talk to me.



34. i wont talk to people who i know are mean to other people.



35. i practice what i preach.



36. ill tell you if i dont like you



37. but i wont always tell you that i like you.



38. im easy to read.



39. im also impossible to understand.



40. im easily entertained.



41. i have an extremely high attention span.



42. im pretty book smart.



43. i have no common sense.



44. thats what evan's for.



45. i <3>
    
    
46. i sometimes make up stupid raps.



47. i love the color yellow.



48. im usually in a pretty goord mood.



49. i love parties.



50. im usually the life of them.



51. im in the band.



52. i play mallets.



53. im scared of the dark.



54. i like cold weather.



55. i used to have a crush on brad pitt.



56. i love britney spears.



57. i make up words.



58. trillz. [thats not one i made up]



59. i think asians are cute.



60. i hate cleaning my room.



61. i love guitar hero.



62. its a fact, that i love hellogoodbye.



63. i dont cheat.



64. its easy to break my heart.



65. when i say "i love you" i mean it.



66. dont say it back if you dont.



67. ill respect you more if you dont say it back then if you lie.



68. im bad at telling if youre lying.



69. my friends are protective.



70. some are violent.



71. watch your back.



72. i love concerts.



73. my sister cuts my hair.



74. i like my eyes.



75. im not serious, ever.



76. im probably really mean.



77. ricky is my gaurdian angel.



78. i love looking at the clouds.



79. my bed is giant.



80. i love to color.



81. my best friend lives across the street.



82. sometimes me and my parents fight.



83. nick is my favorite little failure.



84. i always lose the right half of a pair of shoes.



85. i want to learn how to play guitar, really well.



86. ricky is a guitar god.



87. hes actually really good at alot of things.



88. [like making my heart race]



89. my screen name is ashl3ymcmuffin



90. im white chocolate.



91. my little brother has bucked teeth.



92. everyone i know is prejudice.



93. im not creative.



94. i love music. so much.



95. i miss moo moo.



96. i used to be a ballerina.



97. im not that cool anymore.



98. my left knee needs to be slaughtered.



99. i would bet $394679060347068 that evan wants to come over, right now.



100. people dont take me seriously.



101. i love you. :D

"Well, I guess it would be nice. If I could touch your body. I know not everybody has got a body like you."

so sometimes i just really want to lick his skin off. like not even kidding. i just want him all to myself. no one else to barder with. no one to reckon with. nothing holding me back. thats all i want. its not much right? just one minute alone with him, without obstacles. and i can prove im worth it. like not just worth "it" but worth everything. i want to be worth his everything. ugh. dam my life. i hate obstacles. right now there is a huge wall between us. hopefully, soon enough, he'll realize that he is the only one that can tear it down. i just wish that i could show him, teach him how he has that power. i just dont want to ruin it for myself and stick my nose where it doesnt belong. i know in the end ill end up either screwing everything up miserably, or getting exactly what i wanted.

i guess exactly what i said wouldnt happen, happened.

im falling.

a-freaking-gain.

so i stole ricky's hoodie at the halloween party. it smells really gooorrdd. i would tell you about the party but there are alot of details that shouldnt be made public. like things i would LOVE to brag about. but cant. all i can really say is that i ended up laying in crap. literally. all thanks to my best friend ricky. yeah. best friend. we'll go with that. :/

idk.