im in ru's class. XD its pretty funny. im not sure what to do. im lazy. and bored. im listening to debbie dean's itunes. she has awesome music. i mean. she could handle some new stuff. i listen to it everyday. its getting old. theres a lot of old stuff. barry just discovered RHCP. its probably the funniest thing ever. not even lying. hes HILARIOUS. hmmm. gramma rose needs to die. just saying.

so yesterday me and my dad got along really well. i was excited. til he killed it by answering the phone and telling me he needed to take that call. ugh. i give up trying to please him. gah.

friday night im going to a fallout boy concert. should be pretty e p i c. yesh indeed. ima call mah face when im there. so he can hear it.

saturday im going to ocean city with face. for a benefit walk. and i have shin splints. ought to be exciting. i have to TAPE my shins. really well. so i dont die. but it ill be fun. il be with face all day. and im happy about that. i love face. soo soo sooo soooo muchhh. i really dont know what id do without him. id be like an empty shell. pretty much pointless.

its raining out. i hope it isnt raining friday or saturday. the concert is outside and the boardwalk is... outside. duhhh.

cj is so funny. he is thoroughly annoyed with almost every person in this class accept me and a few others. he grumbles and grrs. its cute. hes like a 4 year old. i voice his opinion though. i tell people to shut their dam mouth often. ru just laughs at me. haha.

i should be doing work. but i dont wanna. im done pretty much everything. and i think i deserve a break. right? i think so. i have chorus today. and it pisses me off. i hate amanda sheets. agh. shes so stupid. dumb cunt. ugh. stop hitting on my boyfriend you skank. or il slit your fucking throat. i mean it. dead serious. stop. thats my final warning.

fkgjbgr

i dont know what to write. im suffering from chronic writer's block.

fml.
ily.
<3

[12:50] ashl3ymcmuffin: hyujbghuitrfv5ew

[12:50] ashl3ymcmuffin: that was my forehead

[12:50] s4mm dee: hahahahha'

[12:50] s4mm dee: hahaha

by with a little help from my friends.

so happy easter and whatnot. my day has been pretty kick butt. im liking. except for the whole not seeing evan thing. thats sad making. =[ but ohh well. i kinda wanna watch across the universe. hmph. someone come watch a movie with me. bring something i have never seen. that will scare the poop outta me. or make me laught like crazy. -sigh- its so nice out. a tad windy. beggars cant be choosers.

biff is so funny. "im at big lots b/c my mommy wants chairs" ell ohh ell.

evan is at brian and kims... i miss brian. and evan. but brian, i havent seen in a long time.

gonna maybe see the boys later. YEAHYUH. XD i havent seen them in forever either.

upside down. (:

so my new bff. is about the funniest persong ALIVE. lol. hes a riot. im going to a bday party tonight. with face. it should be cute. i love going places with him. XD. its like... sunshine... burn. we both heart man u. and my hair looks HOT. woah. im like... smokinn. bahahaha. im in such a good mood.

she would have cheated on him anyway. she can not go 3 days without having sex. and hes... better than that. hes better off. and so is she. i dont like the way she went about doing what she did. but it needed to happen. jsut saying.

there aint no party like an S club party.

iloveyou.

just saying. (:

[16:08] ashl3ymcmuffin: so im not looking forward to the weekend...
[16:08] ashl3ymcmuffin: =[
[16:09] blocked: ..but why?
[16:09] ashl3ymcmuffin: teh boyfriendzors is grounded
[16:10]blocked: sneak over in the middle of the night
[16:10] ashl3ymcmuffin: bahahaha
[16:10] blocked: thats so dawson's creekily romantic
[16:10] blocked: haha just sayin
[16:10] ashl3ymcmuffin: woah
[16:10] ashl3ymcmuffin: dawsons creek!
[16:10] ashl3ymcmuffin: im gonna do it!

amazing love. how can it be? hahaha. so this weekend. should be... hmm... whats the word... i dunno. so my last blog. it was amazing. i just realized that. it was awesome. i did good. i think im gonna put it in the paper as an editorial. XD

the boat and the blade,
they are all that I know;
the sea calls my name,
and so I must go.

so im in newspaper. again. and im gonna tell you about rock for cancer last night.

so ricky organized it. rock for cancer is a fundraiser... for those who dont know. its a fundraiser to realy for life. schalick has done it a few times in the past. but this year was a total turn around. we have brought in sums of up to $400 before. but this year... ricky raked in a total of over $800. this was the best turn out ever. the first band to play was fifth block. a few teachers that are AMAZINGLY talented. then ground zero... seth's band... played. they did an amazing cover of toxicity. then alex did some acoustic stuff. woah. that took my breath away. it was amazing. after him, EMCK went... mmm. im going to their may 1st show with drop dead gorgeous. im hyped. XD. the night ended with the james daniels trio. they were good. not my favorite. they were... so... average? i opened up the show with the speech ricky had written for himself... but he was late. im so proud of him though. he did an amazing job... woah. imagine if we had Racing Kites to play. we could have doubled our profits. ricky did so great though. he was so organized and he planned so well. hopefully he does it again next year and we raise our goal. XD. come to relay. support us. were cute. (:

iloveyou.

oh... and deanne. her speech. she survived cancer. and her speech last night was awe inspiring. it made me tear up. she was so calm about it all. she is amazing. i love her.

Ah hey ma ma ma. Life in a northern town.

so im in ru's class. and im done my work. and i have had prettymuch a whole block to do nothing. i like it alot. XD. lol. so i start tanning soon. ima be toasty. lol. for prommm. woo hoo. i got gloves. theyre tall. and black. theyre so pretty. im borrowing them from mary. lol. cj is reading this now. lol. hes hovering. hahaha. im listening to ru's playlist. he has amazing music. lollers. "let the sunshine in!" bahahaha. im gonna go. lol. cj wants to see my blog. =]

im in newspaper class. and george is talking. and i want to shoot him. his attutude pisses me off. you can hear the rain on the roof. its soothing. i miss evan. i saw him like five minutes ago. but i miss him so much. he is like... a drug? i live to see him. not even joking. like. when im with him i forget about things. i forget that im stressed. i forget that me and my parents fight. i forget that i hate school. i forget that there is a piece of me that is dead now. he makes me feel alive. like nothing can go wrong. i feel invicible. its a good feeling. i like feeling like i matter to someone. i like to know that he loves me no matter how bad i mess up or how stupid i act. he thinks im pretty... even when i know im not.

And it's 4am and we will stalk again. The princess and her bitter queen. On the 4th day of July. Deep in summers eye, naked like the truth should always be.

more things i hate... i hate ex boyfriends that cant just break off clean. i hate losing pets. and people. i hate knowing things that i dont like are going to happen and i cant change a thing. i hate feeling empty. i hate that people think they make me happy, but they dont, and i dont know how to tell them. i hate when people are mad at me. and wont tell me. i hate that this blog is probably boring you to death and i dont care... yes. i dont care. i hate that i push people away. i hate that he reads this. i hate that he exists. but i hate that as soon as he is gone for good im going to miss him like crazy. he is like a part of my routine now. hes a page in my story. if a page is missing, things dont make sense. dont want to erase the past. because it brought me here. and im liking it here. a lot. i like that im getting comfortable. i like that evan makes me feel like im worth something. i hate that there are people that dont want us together. i hate that those people are close to me, but i wont give him up for them. i hate that people move away. i hate that my parents are divorced. i hate that im not like most kids. i hate the rain. i hate the nights that im alone. i hate being home by myself. i hate that im writing this blog right now. is not worth the time its taking me. this blog isnt worth the time its taking me. but i cant stop.

im going to stop blogging. what would he do then? when he cant keep track of me. what will he say? will he be mad? will he admit to his dependance? i dont care. okay. im done caring so much about what he thinks. i hate that i miss him.

im a hateful person. i know. im not sorry though. im not. im done being sorry.

iloveyousomuchthatitripsmetoshreds.
<3 :D