- master my musical abilities so people can stop telling me that im not good enough.

- be better for evan.

- get emt cert

- be less awkward

- go with the flow

- get organized

- stop being a phone/laptop addict

- meet my brother

- learn to better manage my anger

- pick up a not musical hobby

- exercise more

- take more pictures

- be a happier person

- sleep more

- drink less coffee

- drink more water

- eat better

- lose 10 lbs

- avoid drama

- learn to love the quiet

- calm down

- grow a bonsai tree

- raise tea leaves

- get a puppy

so my party is in 2 days.

frg,hdklhy. im really excited. and im kinda nervous. go away snow .. i dont know how many people i can fit in my house when they get snowed in. and im not sure what my mom would think if like a zillion people were sleeping in my living room. hmm.

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so before you ask. no. il probably never forgive you. but im going to learn to deal with the fact that i cant seem to get rid of you. people dont change. they just learn to better hide their flaws. youre doing a really crappy job. stop lying to me. stop pretending to care what i think. and stop sticking your nose in my business. stop.

p.s. im really happy today. like. its been a really good day. (:

danbksgfiuhesiughfi.

buy me a drank. please..

so im in sams room. on her macbook. i hate it. hha. i feel like if i sit in a common room in my house too long im going to punch someone in the head. i cant stand it anymore. ugh.

evan s grounded. and its upsetting. odfdslfkbge.

i dont even know why i started this blog. its stupid. and no one reads it. and i waste too much of my time, with it.

1. my name is ashley

2. his name is evan

3. my birthday is february 8th

4. i could tell you my life story and you wouldnt know a thing about me

5. i talk a lot.

6. i love music, probably differently than you.

7. my hair is brown and whatever else i put in it.

8. i text a lot.

9. i used to have braces.

10. i dont like my picture taken.

11. my boyfriend lives across the street from me.

12. i've never smoked a cigarette.

13. i like to run.

14. i hate to cry.

15. i dont settle for anything less than my best

16. i hate my house but i love it all the same

17. i love my sister more than almost anything

18. someone once told me that i was an accident.

19. i think that looks are almost as important as personality. dont look dirty.

20. i brush my teeth too much.

21. my favorite movie is tuck everlasting.

22. i read a lot

23. my library in my room is alphabetized.

24. i read Robinson Crusoe when i was in 6th grade.

25. sometimes i pretend im somewhere else.

26. i get really anxious sometimes.

27. i get panic attacks when im stressed out.

28. i like social events like concerts and festivals.

29. i hate rude people.

30. i also hate ignorant people.

31. one time someone asked me if having sex would kill my boyfriend because he has a heart problem. honestly, before i was asked, i forgot all about it.

32. extreme home makeover makes me cry.

33. i dont like it when i make plans and then they get fucked up.

34. i hate it when people try to screw me over.

35. sometimes i want to push my mom off a cliff, and sometimes she's the only one that legit gets when im pissed off.

36. its hard to make me angry permanently.

37. im not a violent person but i dont let people fuck with me.

38. i like it when people stand up for me, that doesnt mean that i cant do it myself.

39. i like hugs.

40. i hold hands with people who arent evan, and its not weird.

41. i love my big brother. so much. even though ive never met him.

42. im scared of losing him.

43. there is only one person in the world with the power to make me grovel.

44. im not addicted to facebook.

45. i love pandora.

46. my nose is rather large. and i like it.

47. i ignore texts sometimes.

48. i play a few instruments.

49. i takes me too long to think of 101 things about myself.

50. i have poor circulation and tendonitis. they dont mix well.

51. i wish i had a pretty voice.

52. im a lucky person. but i have to worst luck.

53. i hate the jonas brothers.

54. i have a ring that has the music to amazing grace on it.

55. i lost my best friend 3 years ago.

56. there are only like 5 people that can legitamately make me smile.

57. i have my life planned out to a t.

58. i have a job at a newspaper.

59. i want to be a journalist.

60. i love my music teacher. hes so bald<3

61. i wish i was irish.

62. i dont like being stuck home.

63. i love the smell of burning wood and the sound of the fire horn.

64. i love bright colors, but i wear a lot of neutrals.

65. i cant dance but i like to

66. i get angry when people pretend to have something wrong with them for attention.

67. i love firemen.

68. i hate bitchy girls.

69. i over think everything.

70. im not going to make the same mistakes.

71. i dont like when people judge me.

72. sometimes i wish i was blind. i have no idea why.

73. i rarely regret things.

74. i hate it when people take me too seriously.

75. i love when things fall into place.

76. i have plans to move into my grandparents house once my aunts are all gone(:

77. i play piano when i dont know what else to do.

78. i have almost no common sense.

79. i have an excellent sense of direction.

80. i love hannah montanna but i hate miley cirus.

81. i dont trust most of the people i know.

82. i can do things for myself, but i still sometimes feel like i need someone to take care of me.

83. im pretty immature sometimes.

84. im really funny

85. no one else laughs like me.

86. i love the sound of my poppops whistling.

87. i love christmas lights.

88. i get really mad when people dont rsvp

89. i dont talk on the phone a lot.

90. i want a big white house. with yellow shutters.

91. i love my blackberry.

92. my favorite color is yellow

93. i work at a newspaper.

94. i hate roses and carnations.

95. im a trekkie.

96. i dont drink a lot of soda.

97. i love it when im sore the morning after i work out a lot.

98. i love it when people play guitar.

99. i hate it when people pretend to be good at everything.

100. i chew on my bottom lip and stick my tongue out when im really concentrating.

101. i've been told i shine like the sun(:

i have the most amazing boyfriend on the planet. and im the luckiest girl in the world. 4th time's a charm?(: <3

p.s. those are sammy's feetXD

true story. i have never not wanted to count down the new year so much in my life.

it scares me that i cant even think about things related to things that are related to you without shriveling up a little inside. when you touch me i want to wrap myself around you and crawl into a corner all at once. when i look out my window and i see your house i want to move to mexico and be closer to you at the same time. i cant watch war movies, i cant look at guys in camo hoodies, i can hardly open text messages when i see that it wasnt you lighting up my phone. im hanging by a really thin thread and all of this is weighing me down. i dont think anyone has ever mattered to me as much as you do. i used to pride myself of being independant. i could live without most of the people on the planet. you pretty much shot me out of the sky. i cant even claim that anymore. i dont know what to do. im not sure if i sit and wait, if i approach with caution, if i stay away for a while, or if i dive in and hope i land feet first. i wouldnt though. its always head first with you. you gave me the ability to act without thinking because i thought i would always have you to depend on. i cant wait for all this waiting to be over. i feel stupid crying all the time without a real reason. its too complicated. i love you. im thinking i may love you too much.