true story. i have never not wanted to count down the new year so much in my life.it scares me that i cant even think about things related to things that are related to you without shriveling up a little inside. when you touch me i want to wrap myself around you and crawl into a corner all at once. when i look out my window and i see your house i want to move to mexico and be closer to you at the same time. i cant watch war movies, i cant look at guys in camo hoodies, i can hardly open text messages when i see that it wasnt you lighting up my phone. im hanging by a really thin thread and all of this is weighing me down. i dont think anyone has ever mattered to me as much as you do. i used to pride myself of being independant. i could live without most of the people on the planet. you pretty much shot me out of the sky. i cant even claim that anymore. i dont know what to do. im not sure if i sit and wait, if i approach with caution, if i stay away for a while, or if i dive in and hope i land feet first. i wouldnt though. its always head first with you. you gave me the ability to act without thinking because i thought i would always have you to depend on. i cant wait for all this waiting to be over. i feel stupid crying all the time without a real reason. its too complicated. i love you. im thinking i may love you too much.
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