I'm so much better when I say your name. Let me be with you tonight. Everything will be just fine. With you tonight.

so today was a half day. we had block 1 & 2 exams. pretty sure i bombed my history exam. not too worried about it. i have a good grade in that class. so its all good.

We both know that I could think myself dizzy. Right now. I'm spinning around. I just miss you right now.

hmm. so the swim coach at my school is in the hospital. in critical condition. he got into a head on collision with a mini van. ughh. not good. not good at all.

qwerty. i miss evan. just saying.

secret #8- i like walking in the rain.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSRGYwkjmh8

"You've got an awful short memory for direct orders. I told you to stay beside me. I told you to stay right be-****ing-side me."

so dating a firefighter like poisions your mind. you start quoting ladder 49 and backdraft. and when people play with matches you keep your boyfriend on speed dial. its odd. im still getting used to it. i mean. i guess theres no getting used to the fact that the sound of a siren or a fire horn could permantly remove people from your life. its a freaking scary thought. but you cope. you put it at the back of your mind. there are some upsides. like the humor. youre never bored. always laughing. and with him, its like a huge family. his dad knew EVERYONE. and they all know him. and somehow know me. i cant go anywhere without a "hey, thats evans girlfriend." its never boring.

you grow to love it all.

makes me wonder what i will do with my life when he realizes how much of a loser i am.

(:

ilovehimalot.

secret #8- i used to be scared of guns. but only when they werent in someones hands.

oh my god. so sara brightman is the best singer on the planet. i cannot believe i hated her. she is breath taking. not gonna lie. i can sing. sort of. i have musicality. but she is like JESUS. and paired with andrewa bocelli?! woahh. i thought i was going to die. i was like ZOMG. imagine if i was actually there. i would have croaked. lol. i am pathetic.



so last night. evans family party. hmm. i dont even know what to write about it. it was a family party? theyre pretty much all the same. lol. like not saying it was bad. i had fun.

XD
i dont know what else to say.

secret #6[maybe 7?]- i used to suck my thumb.

we drifted apart. and here you are by my side.

so i havent posted in like forever. and youre probably like GAH! but oh well. lol. i have been really buisy. pit orchestra. jazz band. concert band. and marching band. we started rehersal for baltimore. im playin cymbals with evann. its so excitingg. lol. im such a nerddd.

so friday is evans birfdayy. im excitedd. i love him so much. like you have no idea. hes like the PB to my J. lol.

hmmm. im going to dinner with evan and his mom and brother. lol. i dunno what were having for sure yet. lol. im excited thoughh.

hmmm. so last night. was american idol premierr. this REALLY adorable singer. thats blind. auditioned. but i missed that part. :[ he has such a pretty voice from what i hear. i dunno if he made it though.

nothing to hide. believe what i say.

iloveyouwithallthatiam.
just saying.

secret #6[i think]- i LOVE sushi.

Would you stay just a little, my love? Would you sway just a little my love? Because the hole in the middle of my heart needs filling up. If you stay just a little, that's enough.

i dont know what to say today. im posting for the sake of posting. i hate uneventfulness. too much time to think.

secret #5[i think]- i sing myself to sleep sometimes.

unconditionally.

going with e-man to his aunts party later. i went out to lunch with his mommy earlier. we had this nomm salad with chicken and mandarin oranges and spinach. it was ahh mazing. hmm. so evans been grounded. and i havent seen him much. its saddd. but we get to hang out tonight. which should be funn. nate and his girllfrann will be there. lollers.

i didnt have "the dream" last night. epic good news. XD

new favorite band. the follow through. they are so cute. i love how adorable they are. their music is amazing. look them up. promise you will LOVE themm. theyre on iTunes too. they sound like a better version of fallout boy. yes. better. ive said it.

drinking alex's lemonade stand pink lemonade. its probably the best drink on the planet. and i feel like a good person when i drink it. i think im gonna go vegetarian again. and recycle. i wanna be like a hippie. hippies are awesome. lol.

its so cold in my house. its colder at the firehouse. which is where the party is. but il be okay.

ya know who else is cute? hello, astronaut. theyre cute too. silly scene boys with epiclyamazinglygorgeous voices. lol.

i got a hair cut. s t r a i g h t b a n g s. yayy. i got this spray stuff to make my curls prettier. IT WORKS!. its sunsilk sea mist... waves of envy. i love it so much.

new fave youtube person= hearlesslink7. hes pretty epic. i love him. not creepy. GAH. sorry.

im gonna go nurse a polar bear. [not really.]

secret #4- i suck my thumb sometimes.

Beer through the nose on an inside joke. I'm so excited, I haven't spoken. And she's so pretty, and she's so sure. Maybe I'm more clever than a girl like her.

so hi. its ashley. and evan is somewhere. talking to my mommy. and im such a dummy. always opening my mouth when i shouldn't. GAH. doesnt help that hes always like "dont worry about it." hmm. so my rents are going out to dinner. my aunt's here. hmm.

im gonna go do something fun.

XD

wow. my new years eve was epic. i dont even know how to write about it. it was intense. and scary. and nerve damaging. and oh so close. and embarassing. and annoying. and loving. and beer and brown sugar-y. and amazing. and new. wow it was new. like they call it NEW years for a reason. like woah. it was all new. i had no idea what i was doing half the time. i sort of winged it. i think it worked. he didnt seem displeased. i hope it worked. or hes gonna think im a freak. i hope he doesnt.

earth shaking. breath loosing. nerve ending. goose bumps. racing heart. epic smile. eyes closed. muscles tense.

hmm.

if i could have stayed in that place in time i would. and stay. forever.

<3

secret #3- i shake when im nervous.