uno. i had some mac and cheese. with pepper jack cheese in it. and now my breath stinks. and i dont like it.

dos. im really bored. and i want you to come see me. now. because i miss you. so very much.

tres. follow me.(:

text me.
8562751654

one. camp was amazing. i made so many new friends. i learned so much. it was amazing to be able to be so open and outgoing without people looking at you like you have five heads. jordan and i were connected at the hip a lotta times but we still sorta "branched out" we made friends with tons of new people like max and ryan and pilar and omg the list goes on. i loved lmti. and i wanna go backkkk. (:

two. i missed evan like. insane. its crazy. i never noticed how much i depend on him for a lot. i missed holding his hands. and hugging him. and hearing his voice. and kissing him. i sorta wish he coulda come with me. but he went last summer. and our school is too poor to sponsor people more than once. i love him so so so so so much. he has work today. and im gonna go out and see him before he leaves. hence me being up this early. <3

three. my tragis. is. amazing. i love it so much. i put a colored spike on the outside. and i wanna lick it... max? haha. but forreal. im so happy i got it done. it was worth it. i think im gonna get something on my other ear next. not sure what.

four. shopping with kylie today. text me.

i love you so very much.

xoxo

they call her love, love, love, love, love.

she is love.

and she is all i need.(:

one. school starts in 26 days. and im not prepared. i haven't gone shopping. im not done my summer work. i dont want to go back and deal with any of the people that pretend to be my friend. im sick of people using me. im tired of people being disrespectful. and im fed up with no one taking me seriously. im over all of it. fml.

two. my brother is dumb. realll stinkin' dumb.

three. i dont sleep at night. not anymore. i lay awake most of the night. i wish i was thinking about things, coz then during the day i would have a lot less to think about. but i just lay there. im scared if i get to thinking im going to lead myself to believe stupid things and make stupid excuses for people that screw up over and over.

four. im so sick of coming up with reasons why i should keep forgiving you and going back to see you. im not sure why i try so hard. no matter what i do you never seem happy. everything is insufficient. and i shouldnt have to make myself wirthy of your love. youre supposed to just give me that stuff. i guess im asking for too much. whatever.

five. apparently flies with one wing that keep flying around your head are flies of the mutant variety. haha. and youre supposed to drop guys when youre trying to save their lives while dangling from a building on a rope.(:

i love some people.

(:

you only wish it was you.

post #263.

so today is our eight month. and hes being akward. i dont know. im over worrying my head off over everything. im at nicoles. and were bored. we wanna go do something.

dudeee. my shoulder hurts so bad. like i wanna cry. stupid muscles. i took midol and put biofreeze on it. -crosses fingers- hopes it workss.

friday im getting my wisdome teeth pulled. sucks right. not really. i want them outta my head. the doctor said theyre probably causing my headaches. ughh.

erffmylifeee

<3

so i havent posted in 25457434186453728 years. and its sad. first blogger was down. then my computer was on the brink of death. then i went on vacation [ill tell you about that later.] haha. its so great to have my blog back. im so excited. ah! i cant wait to tell casey. and ellen. and jordan. woo hoo!

holy cow! its hot in here. its like a zillion degrees. and im wearing flanel pants. cause it was cold last night. dangg weather. needs to make up its stinking mind. like one minute its breezy then its like africa. a g h h h !

im not crazy cause i take the right pills.

everyday.

so i've been babysitting for cash all summer. evan's little brother. hes alright i guess. he's a little mean sometimes. he likes to throw things at me. and he yells a lot. buts money is money... speaking of. i need more. so i can buy books. im out of stuff to read. its sad making.

vacation...

so i went on vacation with evan, his mommy, and his brother. it was tons of fun. we left the 23rd [last thursday]. i drove down with evan and we followed his mom. she had the camper and the truck. it rained a lot while we were down there. but we went to Knoebels [a really cute little amusement in eastBF] and Cabela's. i had a lot of fun just hanging out with everyone. see, they camp with a h u g e group of friends. and everyone hangs out and eats breakfast together. we visited a red deer farm. it was different. dont get me wrong, it was fun, but it was odd.

on top of all that, i spent almost every waking moment with evan. i got used to having him at my side most of the time. and he was always the first person i saw when i woke up and the last person i saw before i went to sleep.

now that im home, i miss evan, but i dont. like i know that i dont want to spend too much time with him too soon or we will get so sick of eachother, but a part of me misses having him so close.

this morning though he did something uber cute. he came into my room and woke me up. youre like "wtf?!"

UGH. the fire horn is going off. and there goes my boyfriend. be safe babe. [:

oh yeah. he's an american hero. incase you didnt already know. haha.

but seriously... youre like "wtf?!" but it was cute cause he made sure he was the first person i saw. like we were back in PA in his camper. i loved it. i love himm.