need

i know you'll act as a clever medicine.

so i really want to tell you something. but im not sure what. i want it to mean something. i want it to move you. shake you. but i cant. the words wont form. it needs to be great. i want it to open with a bang. have the trappings of a fairytale. and close to your satisfaction. i want it to be proof that im capable of something. that im useful. that im not wasted. i want you to read it when you cant sleep and i want it to lull you into comfort. i want it to be true. and pure. and beautiful. and serene. i want so badly for you to love it. to praise it. to enjoy it. i want it to be a reference. i want all of the words to be what you want to hear. i want to do great.

i need you to listen first.